Farm sink in progress

In this bio, Jerrad Inlow will refer to himself in the third person. That way, he can write about his life as an endlessly important artist, his countless and adventurous travels to exotic locales and his award-winning works, all without coming across as a shameless bragger.

Because it will appear as if someone else wrote this about him, as if Jerrad was most certainly important enough so other people write about his life and operations.

He will furthermore refer to his home as ’studio’, and to his beloved wife as ’studio manager’. Who will ever know?

He will also be sure to mention his apprenticeship with superlative artisans and his professional beginnings in New York City, as well as his trilingualism. Then he’ll casually throw in his years living abroad and, of course, his artist-obligatory stays in countless world class ski resorts scattered across the globe, which will round up his hemingwayesque artists’ resume.

After that, he might ramble on for six paragraphs about his deeply philosophical approach to his craft, his always intimate relationship with the subject, his unique and complex understandings of form and function, as well as his transcendent ability to connect with the elements of his medium beyond the limits of ordinary experience. He will continue to do so until the readers’ attention has wandered well beyond the point of turning into a blurry haze.

Jerrad is currently working on some new and capricious personality features, to be exhibited in the very near future. Previously described by clients and designers alike as friendly, easygoing and laid back, such attributes are proving no longer suitable for an artist of Jerrad’s magnitude. Fresh behavioral routines of unique eccentricity and difficult behavior are in the final stages of rehearsal before being premiered.

Naturally, Jerrad does not merely live in Bozeman, but “currently divides his time between homes” in Montana and every city and country he has ever lived in.